


No More Hiding

by JaneyKatherineHummingbird



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, Age Difference, Confessions, Don’t Like Don’t Read, F/M, First Kiss, Genderswap, Kirk is First Officer, Kiss prompt fic, Pike is Captain, with a touch of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2018-12-24 10:01:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12010392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneyKatherineHummingbird/pseuds/JaneyKatherineHummingbird
Summary: Jamie makes a mistake on a mission that ends up bringing up some issues--the big one being her falling in love with her boss. Definitely AU.





	1. Chapter 1

Prompt #15  
A gentle "I love you" whispered after a soft kiss followed immediately by a stronger one (Pirk)

The Stars flying by outside a moving starship never failed to mesmerize Jamie Kirk. The beauty of the streaks of light, combined by the reminder of the sheer incomprehensible number of them never failed to calm her on stressful days. Even now, secluded in the least popular observation room, she still saw enough to gape in awe. If only she could wipe out her troubles as easily as the Enterprise sped through space. She'd be lucky if Pike didn't transfer her at once after her idiotic mistake. 

She groaned again just thinking about it. It had been an away mission gone very south--she'd been in position to get a perfect shot to take out the baddie grappling with Pike, only for some reason, her hands shook so hard, she missed wildly and almost hit Spock. Uhura had ended up saving his bacon instead, and Jamie had freaked out, staring at her still quivering hands. 

She was normally one of the best shots on the ship, which was one of the reasons Pike made her chief tactical officer. In that moment, though, she'd been useless and she hated herself for it, especially when she knew exactly what the reason for her sudden hesitation had been--the vivid image of seeing him nearly killed by a phaser all those months ago and knowing it would utterly crush her if he died. 

They'd all been nice enough not to say anything, because that was the captain's job, but she could feel the strained silence as they no doubt wondered what in the world had suddenly taken over the first officer. On the transporter pad, he'd looked at her searchingly, then said, "Kirk, we'll talk, later. First, we've got to figure out just what the heck went on down there. Those natives were using technology they shouldn't even know about for at least two centuries. I want you and Spock to determine type and Origin of the weapons. Find out whose beaten us to breaking the Prime Directive for once." 

She'd nodded mutely and gone off with Spock. After they'd determined the weapons were a mixture of Klingon, Romulan, and unknown, and endured a torturous debriefing where Jamie couldn't meet anyone's eyes, she'd fled when Pike got tied up with Starfleet. 

Of course, he'd find her--he knew her too well, but she dreaded the thought of seeing disappointment in those familiar grey blue eyes, or the look of pity or revulsion if he found out her deeper secret. 

Sure enough, the door swished open shortly and footsteps approached her from behind. 

"There you are." 

She didn't move.

"C'mon, Kirk, talk to me," he coaxed. "What happened down there?" 

"I......I.....I....don't really know, sir," she said, trying to keep professionally distant. "One second I was ready to blast that creature to smithereens, the next, I'm seeing you almost dying again and thinking I'm going to end up hitting you instead. My instincts normally override that kind of stuff, but not this time. I'm losing it, Chris, and that scares me."

He huffed a sigh and sat down on the nearest chair to her chosen spot on the floor.

"Jamie, you are not losing it. You had a flashback. Those things happen."

"But It could have gotten you killed!" She moaned. "If Uhura hadn't stepped up....." 

"That's why we take a good sized team on this kind of mission: we have each other's backs," he told her. "There's got to be more to it. You haven't looked me in the eye once since we got back." 

Jamie thought her spine would snap from the tension of holding it rigidly straight while she tried to think how to deflect. Finding no good solution he wouldn't see right through, she sighed.

"You're right. I'm afraid I may be......emotionally compromised, sir." She said. The "sir" was a dead giveaway that she was nervous and she kicked herself mentally for the lapse. 

"How so?" He calmly pressed. 

 

She squirmed slightly, petrified of telling the truth. 

“Do you really want to know, Sir?” She whispered desperately. 

There was a silence then he answered even more gently than before. 

“For your own safety, yes,” he told her. “Otherwise, I’ll be required to order a psych evaluation before letting you on another away mission and we both know what you think of those.” 

Jamie grimaced and sighed. He was right. She‘d have to spill her guts to somebody: it was either him or Bones. She couldn’t risk anybody else getting hurt because of her issues. Nerves sparking again, she decided to bite the bullet. Taking a deep breath, she felt her face redden as spoke.

“I’m compromised when it comes to YOU, Sir: in the way where you'd rather die a thousand times over than see a certain person hurt, sir, because, well--you care about them so much." She ended on a whisper, almost hoping he hadn't heard. 

"Please don't me mad at me," she quickly added. "I've been trying to keep it under wraps, but this happened. I promise I won't say another word about it, but you asked, so I told you...sir." Oh, she was really a basket case. She hadn't used so many "sirs" since Admiral Anderson's visit. She hadn’t actually used the word “Love”, but her rambling probably got the idea across.

There was a silence and she held her breath, dreading what he would say next. 

"Enough with the Sir. We're off shift. Come here, Jamie," he urged. "It's Hard to talk like this. You know I won't bite." 

She smiled weakly and scrambled up to join him, wondering where in the heck her Kirk confidence had gone when she needed it most. 

"So are you're saying you're in love with me?" 

Jamie nodded slowly. "Yep." She stared at her hands, which she'd kept clenched in her lap. Now was the moment of truth. She was a big girl, she could handle a little rejection. 

A hand gently tilted her chin up and to the side so she had to look into his eyes. Her heart skipped a beat at the expression in them, which was not disgust, pity, or disappointment. 

"Jamie T. Kirk, I didn't expect to hear you ever say that, but I confess, I’m selfishly thrilled to hear it. Do you know what you’ve done to this crusty old heart? Turned it into a lovesick mess, that’s what.”

She gaped in shock at his admission. "Really? I would never have guessed. You sure keep a good poker face. I’ve been terrified of you finding out.”

“And I thought there was no way you’d ever be interested, so I made sure you never would either,” Chris responded regretfully. 

Jamie groaned and plopped her head on his shoulder, letting out a rueful chuckle.

“Oh, we’re quite the relationally clueless pair. How long have we been pining after each other, then?"

"Three years, probably, on my part," he said, affectionately, wrapping an arm around her. "Wasn't going to say anything for obvious reasons, but I never could stop loving you."

"Wow," Jamie said, recovering her speech and allowing herself to enjoy his touch. "I was really bracing myself for the worst. I almost don't know how to react now," she admitted, face flushing at the way he kept looking at her. (Those eyes could turn her into a puddle with that warmth in them.) “You really love me?”

At her almost disbelieving vulnerability, Chris leaned in close and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you," he whispered and kissed her again, deeper this time and she responded eagerly. 

She dropped her head onto his shoulder afterwards, feeling happier than she had in a long time. 

"I take it you don't have plans to transfer me to some other ship?" She asked playfully. "You would have had every right to." 

"No one is taking my favorite first officer until Starfleet says so." Chris declared firmly. "If these flashbacks keep happening, I may have to take you or myself off some away missions until we work out just what triggers them. We'll figure this out: together." 

"I like the sound of that," Jamie agreed, lacing her fingers with his. "It was getting harder to keep it hidden. I think Bones already suspects something."

"That explains the dark looks he'd been giving me," Chris commented. "His protectiveness is showing. What do you think he'll do if we casually show some PDA at lunch tomorrow?" His eyes twinkled with mischief and Jamie giggled.

"I don't know, but I like the way you think, Chris."


	2. Lunch Time PDA

Leonard McCoy stopped dead in his tracks, lunch tray in hand at the scene taking place at his usual table. Captain Pike And Commander Kirk were sitting side by side instead of across from each other and lo and behold, Jamie was eating with her non dominant hand because the other one was caught firmly in Pike’s. So his fears were confirmed. Jamie’s mooning over the Captain had apparently been returned. Gag. They’d be unbearable now. With a grimace, he looked for a different seat and found an opening near Spock and Uhura, who were rather surprised to see him, but scooted over to let him in.

“Have a falling out with Kirk, Leonard?” Nyota asked him.

“No. I’m just not in the mood for witnessing her flirting and eye sexing with the Captain. Have you SEEN them?” 

Uhura looked over and noticed the closeness between Kirk and Pike, eyebrow going up and a pleased look crossing her face.

“Well, that’s new,” she said. “I wonder if it had something to do with what happened on the away mission. She was really shaken up with the Captain nearly getting shot.” 

“A logical explanation, which would explain her aim being off, when attempting that shot,” Spock mused. “I did not suspect any such regard on the Captain’s part, though.”

“Yeah. That’s what gets me,” sighed Leonard, digging into his extremely healthy salad. “It was pretty clear she liked him, but he’s never so much as showed any particular interest. I thought she was headed straight for a broken heart. Guess he’s good at keeping things close to the vest.” 

“He is, But if you know what to look for, there were little signs,” Nyota said, remembering the brief moments where she’d seen a certain look in Pike’s face when Jamie did something particularly brilliant or was wisecracking eloquently. 

“You’ve got training in reading people, in addition to dating Mr. Logic here,” Leonard said. “You’re probably the only one who figured it out.” 

He briefly looked over towards Chris and Jamie, just as she giggled over something he said and looked up at the Captain with blatant “heart eyes”, as Chapel would call them. He shuddered and scowled, muttering dark imprecations against the oblivious CO and XO. 

“May I remind you Leonard,” Spock said, as if sensing his thoughts, “that violence against a superior officer is a court-martial offense.” 

“He’d better not hurt her then,” the doctor declared firmly. 

Meanwhile, Jamie was just finishing her food, after a very pleasant interlude with Chris. To think, just last night, she’d been in deep misery after her mistake on the away mission and today, he was right beside her.

“Hey, Don’t look Now, But I think the CMO wants to kill me,” he whispered in her ear. “He’s giving me the death glare to end all death glares.” 

Bones hadn’t shown up to eat with them as usual and Jamie had been wondering where he was. Evidently, he’d decided to take his tray elsewhere. Maybe their Lunchtime PDA had indeed freaked him out. 

“Oh, well, he’ll get over it,” she replied, not moving an inch. “I’ll explain everything later and make him promise not to get himself thrown in the brig. He’s so overprotective sometimes.”

At least, she hoped it was that, rather than jealousy. Goodness knows, she’d feel terrible if she’d inadvertently hurt Bones. 

She turned around, spotted her friend sitting with Spock and Uhura and blew him a kiss. He gave a reluctant half hearted smile and returned to his food, shaking his head and muttering something that looked like, “shameless Infant.” 

Jamie smirked and turned her attention back to Chris. 

“I guess it’s time we get back to the daily grind, huh?” He said reluctantly, squeezing her hand again. 

“Yep. It’s been fun. People weren’t as surprised as I thought they’d be, though.” 

Jamie sounded a tad disappointed as she rose and reluctantly released him to dump her tray. 

“Guess in this business, they see so much that a new relationship doesn’t really phase them,” Chris remarked, following her to the bin. 

“Not outwardly, But they will be talking about it. It’s to be expected,” she remarked. “I have a feeling the grapevine will be busy today.” 

“Probably. But the real test will be to see if we can manage to refrain from flirting on the Bridge,” Chris said with a saucy grin as they headed for the lift.

“What are you talking about? I’m the picture of utmost professionalism!!” Jamie returned archly, feigning outrage at the mere idea. 

“Sure, sure,” he returned . “And those looks you’ve been shooting me all morning were totally innocent. Riiiight.”

She winked at him and they were both smiling as the lift doors slid shut.


End file.
